Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Week 3

"I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely..."

Hosea 14:4




backsliding: turning away

I will love: to have affection for like a friend

freely: spontaneously, willingly






I have been mulling this verse over and meditating on it all week and frankly don't like where that has brought me:)

If I have backslidden (and I most certainly have) then it means that I have turned away from my Lord. But it is more than just turning away because in this world nothing is static. I am always moving towards or away from one thing to the next.

Here are the "things" that I have turned away toward:



pride - I know the best way

judging - At least I'm not like that!

comparison - I'm so much more organized, better, neater, etc

blame - If he were home sooner, if he helped out more

selfishness - I want to do my own thing

anger - Why do I have to put up with this

despair - nothing will ever change or get better

frustration - I just cleaned that!

coveteousness - I want a nicer/bigger/newer house

jealousy - It's not fair that I don't live close to family for help

discontent - My life will be better with this purchase



Oh God, Forgive me.

"I will HEAL your backsliding"



I come to the end of myself for there is nothing of this "old woman" that I care to keep around.

You, O God, are my healer. I sit here and soak in your healing love. I feel no guilt or reproach from you in response to my backsliding because I feel your spontaneously abundant gift of love....for me.






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